Pride and Prejudice!!

They say competition brings the best in you , but what if you lose the best in you while competing??? well this was something that i was pondering after experiencing an incident today.

As usual like everyday, we were playing a game of Table tennis in office  before lunch, I was accompanied by three of my office colleagues. After 2 games of doubles,when one of our friend had to leave ,myself and one of my colleague decided to take rest watching the other friend play singles match with a girl who was waiting to play a match while we were playing doubles.

My friend, the one playing the match isn’t a good player of TT, but we thought that since he was up against a girl he would easily manage to thrash her by a big margin. He began well and scored few quick points playing his usual shots, but as the match progressed the girl seemed to get better and play the game well. It appeared that she was taking time warming up initially. Though she soon equaled the score in the second set…It still dint appear to us that she would be able to keep up the pace. When she started to serve in the 3rd set , my friend lost 3 quick points and just to encourage him we asked him to keep his cool and just play normally (There are only quite a few girls who play TT in office ) .As the game progressed the girl got the better of my colleague who seemed to have been baffled at losing points..especially to a girl whom not many had noticed playing TT in office . He lost the game by a big margin of 10 points and complained that he played loose shots and wasn’t at his best in that game. From what appeared by looking at his expressions was that he was very disappointed at losing the game, especially when his opponent was a girl.

I was watching this game like any other game and when my “loser colleague”( Used only to identify a person,as i don’t want to disclose any name ) returned back,I smiled at him and thought that he lost the game because he lost his cool upon losing some points and thereby ending the game in a loss. Meanwhile as we were again 4 people ( we 3 and the girl ), i asked if we can play doubles.Just then my friend (With whome i was watching the previous match ) Got a call and he had to go somewhere, hence the girl invited me to play singles match with her.The “loser colleague” stood away from the table watching us play.

The game began with me serving in the first set, It was any normal game for me ( Just an average player) , as the first set progressed i was able to score first 3 points with my serve, which the girl found it difficult to handle . The other 2 points were lost experimenting some shots. After the first set i thought that i will win this game without much difficulty, but i wanted to have a good lengthy match so that i can experiment my shots at the expense of the girl whom i though to be a novice in the game (MISTAKE No 1).The second set begun with the girl serving, and i was able to pick it up easily, the game dragged in the second set with each of us playing good shots ( By our standards of course ) and scoring points. The second set fetched more points for the girl, because i tried smash shots which landed far away from the table!!

By the third set the girl had equaled the score(5-5), i thought that i can surpass her if stop experimenting and there was no need to worry, It was my turn to serve this time and i changed my serve so that i can play some quick shots, as i expected her to play an ineffective return shot. As expected the return was not effective, but my shots failed to land the ball on the table…and i lost some couple of points. I decided not to monkey around and gain some lead in the match..just then i realized that whatever shot i played to the Right of the girl she easily managed to play a return shot and not only that she was able to place her shots really well. My other friend who had gone to attend a call came back and inquired about the score, my loser friend informed him that i was losing (Perhaps he wanted me to lose so that he wouldn’t remain the only loser that afternoon ) . I felt a feeling of  anger  getting into me and i replied sternly that the game wasn’t yet finished.

The game progressed with the girl displaying good shots and strategy, at one moment she played a good smash that was beyond my approach. Just at that moment my loser friend yelled ” Joshi you are waste ” ..Thank GOD he said this in telugu :p but the word “Waste” wasn’t translated  and it was clearly heard!!! I felt a feeling of unrest,anger and a bit of fear (fear of losing )  get into my mind (MISTAKE 2 ), I don’t understand if  it was because he acted like that ( He plays TT  worse than me ) or because of the fact that my opponent was getting the better of me!! I lost few quick points in succession..just then i understood why the “loser friend” might have lost points in the previous game ( It was due to the frustration that comes after you realize that the person whom you underestimated shows you stars in daylight ). I then decided to keep my cool and just play well (Still the fear of losing to a girl lingered at the back of my mind somehow ).

The game became a close one as my friends watched us play , I played with a  defensive strategy and expected the girl (Whom i thought to be a weak opponent)  to make a mistake!! ) . I was able to gain some points, and get a lead of one point. It was my turn to serve, and score was (17-18 ) , here i remembered the weakness of the girl to a serve on her left side..and i did exactly that, I deliberately served to her left and she wasn’t able to pick it up. At that moment all i wanted was to win this game by trying anything that could defeat her ( Reputation at stake!! ). The match headed to deuce in spite of my best efforts. I won the match relying on my serve, not before the girl gaining advantage on two occasions which she failed to convert in a win ( Just by stroke of luck ).

As we were having lunch i was wondering about the state of my mind while playing the match. Even though i won, i felt that i had lost the game. I analyzed the sequence of events and realized that i had grossly underestimated my opponent only because she was a girl, and that boys can easily win over girls in sports ( Education no ways!! ). As the game progressed i got a feeling that, in case i lost the match it would be a disaster (As if i would cease to be called a male!! ), The comments of my friends made me a bit nervous and brought in the fear of losing (Which i dint reflect on the face, but it was one hell of an internal syndrome!).

All these feelings came from a prejudice that men are superior to women in sport. I would have had the same prejudice if the match would have been against a school kid who dint know anything about TT.But the fear was brought in by “Pride” , that destroys you from within!! I wonder if from the feeling that i had carried then i expected myself to win in Chess while playing against koneru humpy , win against sania mirza in tennis, or defeat saina nehwal in badminton!!!!

lesson learnt..always play according to the competition, not the competitor!! Amen!

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~ by kartikjoshi on January 21, 2010.